When Nella Daren was on the Enterprise
by Nordique1
Summary: A story of how Jean-Luc's relationship with Nella affected his friendship with Beverly.
1. Chapter 1

_A small story wrapped around the Nella Darren episode. This assumes that the Nella/Jean-Luc relationship lasted a few months which means that I'm kind of playing with the order in which the episodes were shown. This first chapter takes place after the Season 6 Amanda Rogers episode: True Q._

On loan from CBS.

Q, with all his accompanying usual mayhem, was gone. But, as is often the case with the being, his presence, or in this case, Amanda's presence was a long way from being considered forgotten; as much as it pertained to Dr. Beverly Crusher at least.

She had been defenseless, stripped bare in the face of young Miss Roger's question. "If she could, would she bring Jack back?"

No matter how much she tried, the question had been impossible to banish from her mind. Beverly needed to talk to someone, and discussing it with Jean-Luc over breakfast was not an option. Deanna was of course the obvious choice, but the Betazoid would automatically switch to her "counselor mode"; something Beverly preferred to avoid. She'd had her fill of counselors after Arvada and then, when Jack had died.

But wise women know when to quit, and Beverly Crusher likes to think she inherited some of her Nana's wisdom. She already felt better as she made her way to the Counselor's cabin. There is after all, solace to be found in admitting defeat.

Deanna Troi sensed the conflict in her best friend even before she let her in. She braced herself. Navigating through Beverly's stormy feelings is never easy, but tonight it would be like running an obstacle course through barbed wires. The Counselor patiently waited while the Doctor walked around the room a few times, finally stopping in front of the viewport.

"When Amanda realized she had the powers of the Q, she asked me if it were me, would I bring Jack back."

Oh yes thought Deanna, that would definitively upset you. "How did that make you feel?" she asked her.

Beverly's reaction was quick, angry, and brutal. "Deanna, could you not be a counselor for once."

The other woman stood her ground: "When you see a bleeding wound, can you turn off being a doctor?"

She had her there. "You know Deanna, for a Betazoid, you can be annoyingly logical at times." A pause, then a plea. "Please Deanna, just for tonight?"

Deanna debated for a few seconds. Finally she got up, left the room and came with a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"I can't really counsel someone if I'm having a drink with them, can I?" More gently. "Come on Beverly, come sit down."

She poured them both a glass and was not shocked when Beverly immediately took a long drink of hers.

"I loved that man Deanna. Despite the distance, the long absences, I never regretted marrying him. Everybody told us we were too young, but we knew it was right for us." Deanna did not need to hear the words, the feelings of love and longing coming from the Doctor spoke for themselves. "When he died, it was as though the lights shut off. Had it not been for Wesley, I don't know if I could have carried on like I did."

"But you did Beverly. Even without Wesley you would have. It probably would have been more difficult, but you would have."

For the first time since she sat down, Beverly looked Deanna in the eyes: "How can you be so sure Deanna? I'm not even sure of it myself."

Deanna did not hesitate: "Because you're a fighter, a survivor Beverly. You survived Arvada. You would have survived that also. "

"After Jack died, so many nights I cried myself to sleep." The remembered despair and still very present sadness flowed in waves from the doctor. Deanna leaned forward and took her friend's hands in hers. Moisture formed in Beverly's eyes. Deanna could barely hear her next sentence, so low was her voice.

"I didn't say yes. I couldn't."

Suddenly Beverly became angry: "What kind of wife am I? How can I not want my husband back?"

Deanna's response was immediate: "It's been fifteen years Beverly. You're not the same person. You've grown, changed. It's perfectly normal to feel that way."

The counselor allowed Beverly a few moments before tackling the obvious. "And more importantly, it would throw a wrench in the pseudo-marriage you have with the Captain."

Shocked and angry, Beverly barked: "My what? What are you talking about?"

Deanna had a little smile on her face as she lifted both her eyebrows. She took the time to take a sip of her wine, letting her words sink in before answering: "You did want me to take my counselor hat off, you know. Be your friend you asked. Well your friend tonight is telling you that the main reason you hesitated is because deep down you know that if Jack were to come back, you'd have to give up the Captain."

"Deanna. Jean-Luc and I are friends. Nothing more. That friendship would still be there."

Deanna shook her head: "Not the way it exists now. Just because you're not physically intimate, doesn't mean you aren't emotionally intimate. When you need to talk to someone, he's your first choice, and it's the same for him. The only reason you're here tonight is because Captain Picard himself is part of your problem, otherwise you'd be discussing this with him."

Deanna hesitated; breaking professional confidence is never easy, but sometimes, as in tonight, unavoidable. She forged ahead. "It's part of my duties to report on the number and the type of counseling sessions I provide the staff. Statistically speaking, both you and the Captain have the same counseling behaviours as officers who have spouses on board."

Deanna, sensing confusion in Beverly, explained further.

"You, the Captain, Will, have the highest stress jobs on the ship. Yet, both you and the Captain rarely seek my counsel. Instead, you talk to each other, seek each others advice, comfort, and support. You are each others sounding board, confidante... In a sense, you are each others "spouse".

Deanna watched as Beverly paced around the room for several moments. Finally she turned around and came and sat down in front of the Counselor. She lifted troubled eyes to her friend.

"I never saw it like that." A small laugh came out. "To be honest, I've avoided trying to analyze what we've become to each other. It's simpler that way."

Deanna refilled both their glass. She had another bombshell to share. "You do realize that outside of the senior staff, you'd be hard pressed to find anyone who doesn't believe you two are lovers."

Beverly nodded. She had long suspected that her relationship with the captain was perceived differently then it actually was.

"You have breakfast together nearly every morning. You attend functions together." The Betazoid paused to make sure her next statement was well understood. "And for a while now, even in front the crew, you have been using each others first name. Nobody else would ever remotely think of calling the Captain, Jean-Luc."

Beverly continued to stay silent as she looked down at her glass of wine.

Deanna continued: "If there were any doubts left, they were erased by Wesley's Nova squadron accident."

The mention of her son did manage to force Beverly to look up at Deanna. "What do you mean?"

Deanna gently took her hand again: "Beverly... He attended the hearing with you. He never left your side. He even committed his ship's resources to the investigation."

Beverly tried in vain to deny it: "Jack was his best friend. Wesley is Jack's son."

Deanna looked her directly in the eyes: "Yes, but more importantly, Wesley is your son Beverly. You may have both tried to fool each other into thinking he was doing all of this because of Jack, but deep down you must know that it was for you, for you and for Wesley."

Deanna looked at her friend. She and Beverly gossip about every topic under the sun except for one: the Doctor's relationship with the Captain. Now that for once the subject was on the table, Deanna was not going to waste the opportunity.

"You do know Beverly that this relationship you have with the Captain is fragile."

"How can you say that Deanna? We've been friends for twenty years.

Deanna shook her head. "People change Beverly. Up until a few months ago, this intimate friendship you share, along with the occasional discrete flings you both indulge in, worked for the both of you. I am not sure it's still true for him anymore. The Kattan probe, it changed him. There, he married, loved his wife, had children, grandchildren. Having lived that, he may want to do so again, for real this time."

Beverly's panic hit Deanna like full on phaser hit. Normally the doctor was more careful around the Betazoid. This time, the feelings had erupted before Beverly had the time to control them. Deanna put her arm around her friend.

"What scares you most Beverly? Him having an intimate relationship with another woman or with you?"

It came out as a whisper. "I don't know…and I'm scared to find out."

Deanna opened her arms to the older woman. "Come here."

And late into the night, Deanna Troi listened.

* * *

><p>Several days later during lunch, Deanna noticed how quiet the doctor was. "Hey Beverly. What is it?"<p>

"I've been doing a lot of thinking about what we talked about the other night."

Deanna patiently waited for Beverly to continue. When the doctor stayed silent, the counselor raised her eyebrow. Beverly let out a long sigh. "You're going to make me say it, aren't you?"

The Betazoid put on her most innocent face: "Say what Beverly?" She ducked just in time to avoid the bread roll.

Beverly took a few moments to gather her thoughts. "After Jack died I was so busy just coping that I didn't see the years go by. Somewhere along the way, I quit being Jack's wife and became his widow. But, the thing is, I never realized it until the other night. Oh, I've had a few encounters…" The doctor lifted her head and smiled. "… and you know about all of those Deanna. But I never really allowed myself to love someone like I did Jack. Even with Odan, I knew that it wouldn't last. "

Deanna leaned back in her chair, tilted her head and crossed her arms. "So now what?"

Beverly took her time folding her napkin. "Now, I go on."

"And the Captain?"

Beverly allowed a small secret smile to shine through. "Well, we are attending the concert tomorrow night." Then after a pause. "We are dining together before."

"And how does that differ than from what you normally do?"

Beverly lifted one of her eyebrow. "It differs, my vertically challenged friend, because now I know differently."

In the five years, Deanna had known the Doctor, she had never seen her this carefree, this happy.

"Well, it should be a good concert; Data was telling me that the astrophysicist we picked up at the last crew rotation is a brilliant pianist….."

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

_Several months have elapsed since chapter one. Nella and Jean-Luc have now openly in a relationship._

* * *

><p>Jean-Luc Picard sat at his desk in his quarters waiting for the door to chime. He had received the death certificate from Sickbay over an hour ago. She should have come to him by now.<p>

Finally he gave up. "Computer. Locate Dr. Crusher."

"Dr. Crusher is in holodeck three."

Holodeck three? What is she doing there? "Computer. How long has Dr. Crusher been in holodeck three?"

"Dr. Crusher has been in holodeck three for point four-five hours."

She wasn't going to come to him. He ran his hand over his head and leaned back in his chair. He knew why of course. He had tried to ignore how Nella's presence in his life had slowly but surely changed his friendship with Beverly. Over the last few months, breakfasts had trickled down and finally disappeared altogether. Dinners had suffered the same fate, but much, much sooner. Up until tonight, it had been easy to ignore these changes, but now, now he was faced with them. Faced with the reality that he had lost the closeness he had come to cherish; more than cherish, rely on. Without giving himself the time to ponder the decision too long, he left his cabin for holodeck three.

It was only when he stood in front of the holodeck door that he realized he had no plan. After a few moments of hesitation, he finally decided to use his command override to turn on the audio/video output. He saw his CMO dressed all in white, battling a very large, simulated Klingon. By the bruises on her face and the blood tickling down the side of her mouth, he could tell the Klingon had managed to land a few hits. The start contrast of the blood on the white of her uniform made him cringe. He quickly checked the safety settings and was only mildly comforted to see that while she had them on, they were at the lowest level.

A voice started him. "With those settings, she might get a few bumps and scratches, even some broken bones, but she should be safe enough."

The captain turned to his counsellor. "Did she talk to you?"

The Betazoid shook her head. "No, but I have been keeping track of her since I received the death certificate."

Deanna felt the captain's uneasiness before hearing him ask hesitantly: "Has she…. Has she been talking to your more? Recently, I mean…."

"Since you've been in a relationship with Lieutenant Commander Darren you mean?"

He turned his head and looked at the counsellor. "You don't believe in beating around the bush do you?"

"Some situations demand straight talk, sir."

Jean-Luc still had not gotten his answer. Impatiently he continued: "So has she?"

Deanna lifted one eyebrow. "Are you asking me to break patient confidentiality, Captain?"

Deanna knew she was being overly hard on the captain, but she did want to break through his ever constant wall. She succeeded. A crack appeared.

He turned to her and briskly demanded: "As her friend, I am asking you if she is confiding in you more lately?"

Deanna took pity on him. "We are spending more time together yes, but confiding more, no."

Jean-Luc took a long breath. "These kinds of death, they hit her hard. She …. She normally comes to me. She talks. I listen."

"But not tonight. Not anymore."

"No. Not anymore," he confirmed. His voice so low, Deanna barely heard it. The feelings of loss though, screamed out from him.

Deanna let the silence linger. She wanted him to take the time to think things through. Finally he spoke, albeit somewhat hesitantly.

"Several weeks ago, when we talked about Nella, you said the crew would be happy to see me in a stable, loving relationship."

Internally, Deanna rolled her eyes. "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

He nodded. She continued. "I know you're not that obtuse, sir. More honesty would be desirable."

"Honesty?"

"Beverly is more than just another crewmember to you. She always has been. You very well know than when we last talked about Nella, Beverly was never discussed."

He stayed silent. Deanna tried something else. She pointed to the screen.

"While this is different then talking to you, it seems to be working for her. Sparring with a Klingon will certainly allow her to vent out her anger over the unfairness of a life taken so young."

Still he said nothing. She continued. "You must know, sir, that the relationship you had with Beverly could not remain unchanged once you started seeing Nella."

He was not ready to relent: "When she was married to Jack, the three of us used to spend a lot of time together. The three of us were very close."

He hated himself for having thought it, loathed himself for having said it. It was not the same, he knew it. But, there was a part of him, a part he was ashamed of, the part that had wanted revenge for the perceived slight he had felt all those years ago. It hadn't been enough that he'd had to witness their happiness, but he'd also had to witness them prove him wrong. One couldn't be a successful Starfleet officer and have a family. The absences, the distance, it never works. Everybody knew it. Yet this girl half his age and his best friend had not only managed it, but had been very successful at it. Then he, Jean-Luc Picard, captain of the Stargazer, had destroyed it all by ordering his best friend, the husband of the woman he loved, to his death on that fateful mission.

This time, Deanna did roll her eyes. "Sir, you very well know that this situation is not comparable. You and Jack were best friends. You knew him first. You once said that Jack was like a younger brother to you. I hardly think Nella and Beverly enjoy a similar relationship."

A wry smile came to his face. "No. You're right of course.

"Sir, you have a very close intimate relationship with Beverly." She lifted her hand to stop the denial she knew would come. "You're not lovers. I know that. But you were as close as two people can be without taking that step. With Nella in your life, the level of intimacy you shared with Beverly must change. Beverly realizes this and is dealing with it as best she can."

They both continued to watch the feed off the holodeck for several moments. Deanna had one last thing to say.

"The question you must ask yourself, sir, is this: What is bothering you the most? Finding out that she's managing without you, or discovering that you need her to need you?"

She steeled herself for the emotions she knew he would be unable to totally mask from her. It hit her like a cold wind. She took pity on him.

"I'll leave you to ponder this, sir. Beverly used her section head override to bump whoever had booked the holodeck for this time slot. The slot was booked under your name. She could have bumped any other slot, but she chose this one."

He tried to hide it, but the happiness, the joy her statement had given him was impossible for an empath to miss.

Deanna spied Nella Darren coming down the hall. "I'll leave you to it, sir." The captain put himself together as he watched the counsellor leave. While his relationship with Nella just kept getting closer and closer, there were parts of himself, the parts that dealt with Beverly Crusher, that he was not willing to share, not yet anyway.

Nella arrived and, seeing the captain still in uniform, asked: "You're not ready?" If you hurry, you can quickly go change and we won't lose too much time."

Picard took a few seconds to tear his eyes off the holodeck feed. "I'm afraid we won't be able to use the holodeck tonight, Nella. Dr. Crusher looks like she's a long way from being done in there."

Nella pushed a few buttons on the panel. "She bumped the booking using operational requirements." She gestured towards the screen. "This doesn't look like a medical simulation to me."

She pressed the button to establish an audio link to the holodeck. Before she had the time to say anything, Jean-Luc cut off the link. "She had a rough day today, Nella. Let her be."

"I've bad days, too. That doesn't mean I get to abuse my section head privileges."

Jean-Luc turned to her. There was no secret to keep here. It was probably all over the ship by now anyway. "Ensign Taroh died on her operating table today.

"Oh." Sympathy came to her eyes. "He was quite young wasn't he?"

"Barely twenty-two years old." Only two years older than her son.

Nella's eyes when turned to look back at the images coming in from the holodeck. Finally, she linked her arm with her captain. "How about dinner in Ten-Forward then?"

Jean-Luc took her arm but could not stop himself from one last look at the holodeck feed before turning it off and leaving.


	3. Chapter 3

It was the loud voices that woke Nella Daren up. She reached for Jean-Luc's side of the bed, but it was empty. By the temperature, she could tell he had recently left it.

Holding a padd in her hand, the doctor shouted at him, "What the hell is this, Jean-Luc?"

It had been a long time since Jean-Luc Picard had seen Beverly this angry.

It has also been a long time since he had seen Beverly Crusher in his quarters; six months to be precise. Six months since he and Nella had entered into a relationship. Despite the raging inferno in front of him, he allowed himself a few seconds to enjoy her presence in his quarters. He had missed her.

"What the hell were you thinking approving this without telling me first?"

Still he stood, just staring at her. No matter how much he searched, he could not think of anything he could have done wrong.

"Beverly… what?"

She shoved the padd in his face. "This."

He took it from her and quickly read it. It contained the schedule for the upcoming Remembrance ceremony that Starfleet had asked to have conducted on board the Enterprise next month. He had approved it the previous week after giving it a cursory glance. He had so many reports to read, protocol events sometimes did not get his full attention.

Her next sentence froze his blood. "I've done the grieving widow thing once Jean-Luc. I won't do it again."

In panic, he scanned down the padd, and there it was, in black and white. The officer Starfleet was honouring this year was Lieutenant-Commander Jack Crusher, now dead fifteen years. The Remembrance ceremony would be held on the Enterprise where his widow and former commanding officer now serve.

How could he have missed that? He looked up to her.

"Beverly…. I.. I didn't see this. I…." He did not finish his sentence as a noise from the bedroom interrupted him.

Jean-Luc just stood there helplessly as he witnessed realization, then pain come to Beverly's face.

Before he could say anything she stormed out of his cabin.

The distance between his cabin and the turbolift had never seemed this long to her before. It was only once she was safely inside that Beverly finally allowed herself to let go. She quickly rubbed the tears off her face and entered her override code to commandeer the lift. Making it to the turbolift while maintaining her composure had been difficult enough, there was no way she could face anybody right now.

Beverly leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes. What was she thinking showing up at his cabin this early in the morning anyway? She knew of course that they were sleeping together. The ever increasing number of cancelled breakfasts and their eventual demise had been a strong enough hint. But there was a difference between knowing and seeing.

It had been obvious from the beginning that this relationship was different than any of the other ones Jean-Luc had had in the past. Nella Darren was no Vash. This one was for real. While they rarely showed any affection in public, they were constantly seen together, and then, there was the music.

Perhaps this was the one thing about his relationship with Nella that hurt Beverly the most. Over the past few months she'd heard stories of them playing together in the most obscure of places. He had not shared much of his Kataan experience with Beverly, and certainly not the music, but she strongly suspected Nella knew everything about it.

Her place in Jean-Luc's life had changed now that Nella and he were lovers, but that did not mean she had to completely disappear from his life, did it? After all, when Jack was alive, the three of them had been inseparable, had they not?

Once her mind drifted to Jack, it automatically went to his death, then his funeral, and finally to Jean-Luc's subsequent ten year absence from her life, and her anger came back. She allowed it because anger was easier to deal with then the hurt of realizing that her place in Jean-Luc's life would never be the same again.

Jean-Luc knew how Jack's death had broken her. It had taken her years to recover. The ceremony was bound to include old vids. How dare he force her to live through that again? Didn't their twenty year friendship count for nothing?

The lift slowed down. Beverly quickly wiped the tears off her face and stood up straight before exiting. There was enough gossip going around the ship about Nella, Jean-Luc and her without adding to it by being seen walking around the ship crying.

Jean-Luc stared at the closed door. No matter how much he wanted to catch up to Beverly and try to explain, he stayed put. What could he say anyway? That he had approved it thinking it was just another routine protocol event he so loathed? He couldn't remember the actual circumstances of when and how he approved the report, but he supposed he must have been in a rush to meet with Nella. Believing this made it easier to blame himself because feeling guilty in the face of Beverly Crusher's pain over her dead husband was a natural state of being for Jean-Luc Picard.

He sat on the couch and this time gave his total attention to the padd. It was the fifteenth anniversary of Jack Crusher's death. He had died a hero's death, so Starfleet had decided to make him the focal point of this year's Remembrance ceremony; ceremony to be held on the flagship and broadcasted throughout the Federation. He rubbed the back of his neck as he muttered: "Merde. Merde. Merde." Then he threw the padd across on the table.

The noise brought Nella out. "Jean-Luc?"

He did not respond. She tried again. "Let me get us breakfast while you get dressed."

Breakfast? No. He was not hungry for breakfast this morning. Somehow he knew that it would be a while before he would want to share breakfast with anybody.

It was obvious to Nella that she did not have his attention when he answered.

"I'm not hungry this morning. I have to contact Starfleet so I'll go to my ready room. You'll see yourself out won't you?" With that he disappeared in the shower and a few short minutes later he was out the door.

Watching him leave, Nella wondered how Beverly Crusher had entered Jean-Luc's quarters. Did she use her medical override or did she know Jean-Luc's access code? A code he had yet to share with Nella.

Despite the fact that they'd been sleeping together for a while now, allowing her to spend the night in this cabin was relatively new. Nella had known that a relationship with Jean-Luc was going to be challenging, but she never thought it would be this difficult. Every concession, every small step forward took forever, and seemed to require endless self-searching on this part. Jean-Luc struggled to find her a place in his life, a life that already included a twenty year friendship with another woman. As she watched him leave, Nella realized that perhaps she had underestimated the role Beverly Crusher played in his life; that realization made her even more uncertain about her relationship with Jean-Luc.

In his ready room, Jean-Luc leaned back in his chair. He had spent the morning trying to undo his mistake but had met with limited success. Starfleet command had been adamant. The Remembrance ceremony on the Enterprise would remain as planned. It was too late to change anything. The widow, now serving as the CMO of the flagship, under the command of the same captain who had been the CO of the dead hero was too good a story to pass on. He had managed to convince Admiral Brand to eliminate the Academy and Wesley's role in the ceremony. Her son at least would be spared. He knew it was very little too late, but it was all he had.

* * *

><p>Two weeks later Deanna Troi was working in her office when Will Riker came in. She watched him walk around the room for a minute before he finally spoke.<p>

"First it was Nella using her relationship with the captain to get special privileges, now it's Beverly."

Deanna waited until Will finally sat in front of her before answering.

"Her missing the senior staff meetings, you mean?"

Will rubbed his beard, always a telltale gesture of deep concern for him. "She hasn't shown up in days. Anybody else would be on report by now. I tried talking to her yesterday, but got the big wall of silence."

Will looked at his friend. "You have to talk to her Deanna. Normally when she's this upset, the captain deals with her. But with the way things are…."

….the way things are. Will was right to be concerned. The captain and Beverly had had disagreements in the past, but had always seemed to find a way to work through them, but not this time. This time it was getting out of hand. Beverly was being openly insubordinate and the captain was not dealing with it. Out of guilt, no doubt, but nevertheless the situation needed addressing.

"I'll talk to her."

* * *

><p>Deanna took a long breath before walking into Sickbay. Beverly, still wearing scrubs, was sitting on a rocking chair and holding a newborn. Deanna stopped to enjoy the scene. These days, it was a rare sight to see Beverly Crusher so at peace. She walked over and gently rubbed the baby's head.<p>

"How is the Enterprise's newest resident?"

Without looking up, Beverly answered gently. "She's doing very well."

"And the mother?"

Beverly pointed to the bed. "Sleeping. After eighteen hours of labour, she needed the rest."

Both women sat in companionable silence for several minutes. Finally Deanna spoke up.

"The senior staff meeting is in a few minutes Beverly. Come."

"No."

Deanna tried again. "You ran out of excuses last week, Beverly. You very well know that you should be on report by now. He made a small mistake. You're turning it into a huge one. Come before he's forced to take action."

It took a moment for Beverly to answer: "I don't care what Jean-Luc Picard does."

Deanna remembered the stories Beverly told of her Nana. How the old woman would get everybody going with her no nonsense straight talk. Perhaps a Nana speech was needed.

"You're allowed to not care what Jean-Luc does, but not Captain Picard. You're a veteran Starfleet officer and you've already put Will in a tough spot; don't force the captain into an impossible one. Do your duty and come to the staff meeting."

Beverly continued to rock the baby as she gently caressed her head. It was obvious to Deanna that the baby's innocence was the only tether that stopped Beverly from letting anger and hurt dominate her response. Finally Beverly got up, put the baby in a bassinette and started walking out the door.

"Are you not going to change out of those scrubs?"

The doctor answered with a defiant: "Why?"

* * *

><p>The meeting was short. The tension between the captain and the doctor forced a formal tone, making reports short and precise. Soon the senior staff started to leave. Beverly did not make it very far before the Captain spoke up.<p>

"Doctor. A moment of your time, please?"

The staff stopped, curious to see how the doctor would react. They were disappointed as the CMO nodded and went back to her chair. Once the room cleared, Picard started speaking.

"Doctor…" He stopped for a moment and started again, "Beverly. I'm sorry… I should…"

He never got the chance to finish. "I don't want to hear it Jean-Luc. Tomorrow I'll be forced to relive the worst days of my life. Nothing you say will change that."

She should have stopped there, but anger and hurt took over. "I don't know why I expected you to act differently anyway. Cut and run is the only way you know how to act when it comes to Jack and me, isn't it? When Jack died fifteen years ago you couldn't wait to get away, and then I didn't see you for ten years. What a friend you turned out to be. Why I expected you to step up now, I don't know."

She was being unfair, she knew it; but she wanted to hurt him. Hurt him like he had hurt her fifteen years ago when he had abandoned her after Jack's funeral. Hurt her like he had done over the last few months, when he had slowly, but surely pulled away from her.

The attack had been so brutal, so unexpected that it took him a few moments to react, and even then, he didn't know what to say. She was right. He had failed her, just like he had failed her fifteen years ago when he had been unable to save Jack. "Beverly… I…."

At the mention of her given name, her head which had been turned away from him shot up.

"Yes, Captain?" There would be no give from her.

Jean-Luc resigned himself. It was the officer he would have to talk to today. He picked up the padd and the captain's mantle along with it. "The ceremony tomorrow, Doctor. I see that you and I are to be sat beside each other. I'll pick you up from your quarters at ten hundred hours. Be on time."

"Is that all, sir?"

He had never realized that her eyes could be blue as steel.

She got up and started leaving the room. She stopped for a moment at the door.

"I see you managed to read that padd in its entirety Jean-Luc. Too bad you couldn't do so before. "

She was out the door before he could answer.

* * *

><p>Several hours later Deanna Troi walked into the ready room and found her captain looking out to the stars. She sat down.<p>

"You asked for me, sir?"

He failed to answer. Looking for a trigger to make him talk, she turned her attention to the padd on his desk.

"How is your speech for tomorrow's ceremony coming along, sir?"

He pointed to the padd. "I have the speech Starfleet HQ sent down."

Deanna only had to glance at it for a few seconds.

"Very Starfleet sir."

Jean-Luc finally turned to face her: "Fifteen years ago I had to give the eulogy at Jack's funeral. Then I spoke of duty, of honour, of heroes, and how fine an officer Jack Crusher was. Even then I knew that those were empty words that brought no comfort to his loved ones."

He pointed at the padd containing the Starfleet speech: "Again I'm asked to remember the officer while ignoring the man."

The feelings of pain, guilt and remorse were so strong that Deanna Troi now knew why Jean-Luc Picard never allowed himself to remember the death of his best friend in front of her. Being this vulnerable, even to his counsellor, was a weakness the captain preferred to avoid.

He turned his back to her again and continued:

"If I could Counsellor, my speech tomorrow would say that it wasn't Lt. Commander Jack Crusher I mourned fifteen years ago and it's not the Starfleet officer I will remember tomorrow either. It's Jack ... my friend, Jack the father, Jack the husband….

He stopped talking.

She prompted him: "Beverly's husband."

The captain finally looked at her for the first time and whispered: "Yes."

He picked up the padd containing the Starfleet speech.

"I don't know if I can give the duty speech again."

Deanna leaned towards him: "But you will, sir. "

The Betazoid paused for a few seconds: "Through all of this captain , remember that Beverly is a career Starfleet officer, a commander. She'll understand.

"You think so?"

It was rare that the counsellor witnessed her captain so vulnerable, but they both knew that he would do his duty.

He gave the Starfleet speech that spoke of glory and heroic sacrifice.

* * *

><p>Jean-Luc Picard walked nervously towards his CMO's cabin. He hoped she would see the poppy in his hand for the olive branch it was.<p>

Her door opened at his first chime revealing the doctor in her dress uniform, her poppy already pinned, and ready to go. She stepped aside to let him in.

Uncertainly, he presented her with his poppy. "I wonder Beverly, can you help me with this? I can never seem to put it on right, and then it falls off."

Jean-Luc saw her hesitate for a moment and then finally she took the poppy from him and proceeded to pin it on his uniform. He was sure her hands were trembling. She kept her head down, seemingly engrossed in her task.

She spoke so softly, he barely heard her: "Jean-Luc. I'm sorry. I should never have said those things yesterday. I know they're not true."

She was finished with the poppy. He caught her hand before she had the chance to move away from him. "No Beverly. You were right. I should have fully read that report before approving it."

Beverly shook her head negatively as he talked. "No, Jean-Luc. I was unfair to you. We both know that even you'd read the whole thing and tried to do something about it, the chances of Starfleet backing away from this were slim anyway."

He lifted her chin so he could look her in the eyes.

"But you shouldn't have found out the way you did. I should have been a better friend to you. But I've been so busy, I …."

Beverly did not let him finish. She did not want to hear him explain how big a place Nella now took in his life. Hearing him say the words would make it to too real for her. She wasn't ready to face that yet.

"I understand Jean-Luc."

She gave him a sad smile as she straightened herself up.

"Right. We should go or we'll be late."

Just as she was about to walk towards the door, she turned to him.

"You'll stay close will you? I barely make it through that ceremony at the best of times. That damn **poem**, it gets me every year."

Jean-Luc put his hand on her shoulder: "Other than when I have to give the speech, I'll be by you all the time."

He offered her his arm and they left her cabin together.

* * *

><p>The ceremony had been over for more than an hour when Deanna and Will entered Ten Forward together. Spying Nella sitting at the bar, alone, Deanna squeezed Will's hand and said: "If you don't mind Will, I'll go sit with Nella. She could probably use a sympathetic ear right now."<p>

The counsellor walked over and sat down beside the commander. "May I join you?"

Nella gave a snort. "It's a rotten job you have, counsellor, having to sit with the bitch who stole the gallant captain from the heroic widow."

"I'm not doing this because of my job, Nella. I'm sitting here because I want to."

Nella pointed with her drink to the rest of the room. "Well you must be the only one on the ship then."

"I hardly think that, Nella."

Nella took a long swallow from her drink. "He's with her now isn't he?"

"I would think so."

Nella stayed silent for a few moments. "I didn't realize that I would be breaking up the romance of the century when I started a relationship with him."

Deanna put a comforting hand on the other woman. "They're not lovers, Nella."

A sad laugh came out of the commander. "But they might as well be."

"You are very important to him Nella. Don't doubt that."

"Small comfort, Counselor. Did you see them in those old vids of her husband's funeral? The way he stood by her, holding both her and her son in his arms. I watched him throughout today's ceremony, you know. Most people probably didn't notice, but I did. He kept giving her these small glances, watching out for her, like he did in those vids fifteen years ago. It sure looked like there was more than friendship there."

She took one big swallow of her drink before continuing: "You know, Deanna it hasn't been easy being in a relationship with him, especially entering into it so soon after I came to the Enterprise. Other than him, I'm friends with nobody else on board, and he's always so busy. Sometimes I feel so isolated."

It had been a hard day for Deanna. She had been looking forward to relaxing with Will in the lounge. There were times she wished her job did not require her to be on-duty all the time, but the despair and loneliness coming from Nella were impossible to ignore.

" ….And then there's Beverly. I know they're close and sometimes I feel guilty because I know that my presence in his life has affected their friendship, if friends is indeed all that they are to each other. After today, I doubt that more than ever.

Nella sounded resigned to her fate as she continued.

"You know Deanna, I should have listened when everybody warned me about going out with him. They all said he and the doctor were a couple, a discreet couple mind you, but nevertheless a couple. I didn't believe them." She let out a humourless laugh. "I should have."

Deanna took the other woman's hand. "He does love you, Nella."

Nella swallowed the rest of her drink in one big mouthful and stood up to leave. "I don't know, Deanna. Right now I have difficulty finding solace in that."

Deanna Troi could only watch as the other woman left Ten Forward.

**The damn poem is: _In Flanders Field_**


	4. Chapter 4

_This chapter starts at the end of the episode Lessons when Jean-Luc shows up in sick bay to see Nella if made it back from the planet.. _

Doctors, nurses and medical technicians were busy dealing with the casualties. Between the colonists and the Enterprise away teams, there wasn't an empty bed. Sickbay's organized mayhem brought some measure of comfort to Jean-Luc. After all, in the past Beverly has managed to pull miracles and save even the most critically injured. If Nella made it back, perhaps then there was a chance?

Beverly was scanning Will when the captain walked in. To most of those present in Sickbay, Jean-Luc Picard looked the unflappable captain that he always was, but Beverly knew better. She had seen that face before. He was worried, dreadfully worried, and she knew why: it was standard operating procedure for all returning team members to report to sickbay. Nella had yet to show up, and it was becoming obvious that she was not going to.

Picard went straight to his first officer and wasted no time in asking for an update – and Will confirmed his suspicions.

"Team three and six did not make it out in time, sir. Last we heard, Commander Darren was on Team Six."

Beverly watched as realization came to Jean-Luc's face. Before she had a chance to say or do anything, he turned and walked out of sickbay. Beverly looked around. There were dozens of patients needing urgent care. She shouldn't leave.…. but Jean-Luc – he shouldn't be alone. She grabbed a passing nurse.

"Nurse. Please finish with Commander Riker. I'll be right back."

Not waiting for her nurse to respond, Beverly quickly left sickbay and ran down the hall until she caught up with him.

"Captain!"

He kept walking. She tried again. "Jean-Luc. Wait."

This time he reacted. Jean-Luc stopped walking, but kept his back to her. Beverly walked up to him, put her hand on his shoulder and gently turned him around. Just as she was about to say something, a crewmember came around the corner. Jean-Luc immediately stiffened and took a step away from her. She waited for the man to walk down the hallway before she dragged Jean-Luc into an empty lab.

She finally got her first look at him and was immediately brought back fifteen years to the day he had brought Jack home. Now, like then, no words were exchanged, because both knew no words existed to lessen the pain he was feeling. Beverly gently moved her hand from his arm to his face and Jean-Luc lowered his head and started leaning into her. Just as she was about to take him in her arms she was hailed on her communicator.

Dr. Selar did not even wait for Beverly to answer.

"Doctor. We urgently require your presence in Sickbay. One of the patients needs emergency surgery."

If there was one thing the Vulcan doctor could be relied on, it was her ability to remain calm under pressure. If Dr. Selar was calling the situation urgent, then it was.

Beverly put her hand back on his cheek and spoke softly. "I have to go, Jean-Luc."

The small sad smile that came to his face broke her heart. "I know. Go. Maybe you can save someone else from dying."

She touched his face again. Nearly twenty years of being a doctor, but faced with Jean-Luc's pain, Beverly was as defenceless as a young resident having for the first time to inform someone of a loved one's death. She gently moved her hand down from his cheek to his shoulder and whispered hoarsely, "I'm so sorry, Jean-Luc."

She turned around and left. There was a patient who needed saving.

Several hours later Beverly wearily walked out of the surgical theatre and made her way to her office. Her reports could wait, but not the death certificates. She turned her computer on and called up the list of deceased. She was so tired it took her several seconds to notice that Nella's name was not there. She rubbed her eyes, looked again, and still could not find her name. Finally Beverly got up and walked out to the now quiet sickbay where Selar was busy checking over patients.

"Selar. Have all the names of the deceased been sent to me?"

Selar answered immediately, "Yes Doctor."

"All of them?"

Selar, unflappable as ever, answered the unspoken question. "Commander Darren's team was found alive sir. Other than a few minor burns, she is fine. I released her to quarters an hour ago."

It took a moment for Beverly to respond. "Thank you Selar".

Once Selar left the room, Beverly closed her eyes as relief washed over her. Nella had made it. Jean-Luc would be spared the pain.

A pain she was familiar with, and even fifteen years later.

_The Starbase commander had showed up in sickbay with a counsellor and asked to speak privately with her. Beverly had been too experienced, too knowledgeable of Starfleet procedures not to immediately realize that something serious had happened. At first she'd panicked, not knowing if it was Wesley, Nana or Jack, and then a strange calm came to her as they gently told her husband was dead. She supposed she must have said the right things, reacted as they'd hoped, or maybe it was all that Starfleet training, because after a short while they left her alone._

_Even telling Wesley hadn't been too difficult. The medical professional side of her knew that she was detaching herself from the reality of Jack's death. As coping mechanism went, it wasn't brilliant, but it was all she had. It was only several days later when Jean-Luc accompanied her to the morgue to see Jack that she had finally allowed herself to break down and cry - because somehow deep down in her subconscious she'd known that the only place she had any hope of finding any solace was in his arms._

* * *

><p>"I'll put in for a transfer."<p>

Jean-Luc looked at the woman in front on him. What could he say? He loved her, but this mission had awakened him up from the delusion he had been indulging in for the last few months. How dare he think he could be happy with her? Hadn't he learned anything from Jack's death fifteen years ago? It was not in the purview of Starfleet officers to be happy. He couldn't be her lover and her captain at the same time. Maybe others could, but not him, not Jean-Luc Picard.

Still, he tried. "We could still see each other. Spend shore leave together."

He was lying and they both knew it.

"I don't think so, Jean-Luc."

He took her hand in his. "Why not? People do you know."

Nella smiled sadly as she shook her head negatively. "And when would that be, Jean-Luc?"

When he didn't immediately answer, Nella let go of his hand, got up and walked across the room to viewport. She looked out silently to the stars for several moments before speaking.

"You know Jean-Luc, when I entered into this relationship; I knew I'd have to share you with the Enterprise. I'm fine with coming in second. It's coming in third I have difficulties with."

Guilty, knowing what she meant, but pretending he didn't understand, Jean-Luc asked: "Third? "

Nella angrily turned to face him. "Don't be obtuse Jean-Luc. I'm talking about Beverly and you know it. "

He got up to join her at the viewport. He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her around.

"Nella. Beverly and I are not lovers. We never have been."

"But you love her, Jean-Luc. Can you deny that?"

His hesitation was all the answer she needed. Wanting his hands off of her, she shrugged her shoulders and stepped away from him.

"The least I would expect from you, Jean-Luc, is to be honest about it."

Jean-Luc lifted one hand in defeat. How could he explain his twisted twenty year relationship with Beverly when he did not fully understand it himself? He'd loved her all those years ago. He has certain of that. But back then, faced with the reality of the woman he loved married to his best friend, he'd learned to bury it. It had become such an instinctive response, as instinctive as holding one's breathe when jumping in water, that even after she'd been widowed, no longer married, he'd continued to do so.

Frustrated with his silence, Nella walked back to him.

"It's kind of twisted what the two of you have going here, Jean-Luc. This more than friends, but less than lovers thing. It's all-encompassing and leaves no place for anybody else. It's selfish and cruel for anyone who dares tries to have a relationship with either one of you. If I'd known what it was like, there's no way I would have gotten involved with you."

Nobody, not even Troi, had ever dared to dissect his relationship with Beverly to this level. One drunken night, many years ago, Walker had tried. The glacial response he had gotten from Jean-Luc had dissuaded him from ever trying again. But to be fair, perhaps Nella was the only person who had the right to challenge him on this. After all, any of the other women he'd had relationships with over the last twenty years were under no illusions as to where they stood. Nella was the only one he had genuinely tried to commit to, and she was right. He hadn't been honest with her, or himself.

"I'm sorry Nella. I tried. I honestly tried. I wanted it to work, but…."

Faced with his sincere honesty and sadness, Nella crumbled. She still loved him after all. She walked over to him and took him in her arms. They sat down.

"Maybe you should talk to her. Tell her how you feel."

Jean-Luc was shaking his head negatively. "I can't Nella. I was in love with her when she was married to my best friend. And then he died."

A disgusted look came to his face. "I ordered the husband of the woman I loved to his death, Nella."

Nella shook her head. He was the one who broke her heart and yet here she was consoling him. Surely there was a word for that kind of self-flagellation? She lifted his head so she could look at him in the eyes.

"I may not have known you for twenty years like she has Jean-Luc, but I know you are a kind and honourable man. There is no way, you hear me, no way that you are responsible for her husband's death. Just as you wouldn't have been responsible for my death had I not made it."

As she talked, her tone became fiercer. "You're a good man, Jean-Luc Picard. Don't ever doubt that. "

She took him in her arms again and whispered softly. "You deserve to be happy, Jean-Luc. I just wish it could be with me."

He looked up to her with hope in his eyes. "I could try."

She kissed him gently on his cheek. "That's what you were doing the last few months, trying. It didn't work then. It won't work now. Beverly and you need to talk - to sort things out, because I don't think either of you will be happy until you do."

Jean-Luc gently ran the back of his hand along Nella's cheek. "You also are a good woman Nella."

He took her in his arms and could not help wishing that it could have worked.

* * *

><p>Dr. Beverly Crusher walked into the waiting shuttle and sat on the only empty seat left. After a few moments spent setting down her bag, she looked up only to find herself looking directly into the eyes of Nella Darren.<p>

"Oh, shit," she mouthed to herself.

The lieutenant commander lifted her eyebrow. "Shit indeed, Doctor."

Beverly looked at the other occupants of the shuttle. They all made a good show of pretending not too listen.

Maybe if she ignored the other woman, the trip wouldn't be so bad? Who was she kidding? It was going to be hell. She busied herself trying to read a book, but each time she looked up, she could see Nella watching her.

Finally, Nella spoke up, "You know, Beverly, that is one sick arrangement the two of you have."

Beverly said nothing and concentrated on her book.

"I didn't realize it then, but that first concert I gave on the Enterprise, but you were giving him your blessing weren't you, when you left us alone?"

Beverly finally lifted her head from her book, but instead of answering Nella, she looked to the young officers who were now not even trying to pretend not to listen. She turned to them.

"Lieutenant, can you take the two ensigns into the cargo hold? I'm sure I heard some cargo shifting around back there."

The young officer tried to object. "But Doctor, I didn't hear anything."

The doctor slowly pushed her hair away from her shoulder, ensuring her three pips were visible. "I said, go check the cargo hold, Lieutenant."

The young officer finally caught on. "Yes sir, Doctor…. I mean, Commander, sir." The three young officers quickly exited leaving the two women alone.

Once they were safely out of the room Beverly finally looked up to Nella.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Nella."

Nella gave a snort. "Yeah. It's easy for you to be magnanimous, Beverly. You've won. I'm leaving, and you're staying."

She waived her hand around the shuttle. "A bit bitchy on your part to be on the same shuttle as me, don't you think? I didn't think you would lower yourself to gloating, Doctor. I thought you had more class."

Beverly shook her head. "It's the Academy's spring break, Nella. I'm meeting my son at Starbase 12. It was arranged months ago."

"Oh, now I understand why the Enterprise bypassed Starbase 32 to go out of its way to do crew rotation at Starbase 12. Jean-Luc arranged it for you, didn't he? So you could meet up with your son? He takes his ship three days out of its way so you can meet up with your son and you still claim there's nothing going on."

There was nothing Beverly could say, so she stayed silent.

"You know what I don't understand, Beverly, is why? Why do the two of you do this?"

Beverly looked at Nella for several moments before getting up and exiting the passenger section to the cargo hold. She walked by the young officers and made her way to the container labelled "Crusher". The doctor opened it and took out a bottle of Scotch. She hesitated a few seconds and then dug in for the second bottle. Beverly turned and gave it to the three young officers.

"It might be a long trip sitting back here."

The three young officers grinned to each other. Being forced to spend the long shuttle trip in the cargo hold wouldn't be so bad after all.

Back in the passenger section, the doctor replicated two glasses, filled them up and gave one to Nella. Beverly took a long swig of hers before speaking.

"I don't honestly know what to say, Nella. All I know is that I really did try to stay out of your way."

Nella angrily responded, "Well, it didn't work."

She then repeatedly tapped her head with her finger. "You may not have been physically there, but you were there, in his head."

To calm herself down, she took another big mouthful of Scotch before handing her glass over to Beverly for a refill. "You know Beverly, I knew I'd be competing with the Enterprise. He's a starship captain after all, bit it was coming in third behind you and his ship that I couldn't stand."

It was Beverly's turn to refill her glass. "Well, Nella, if you want my honest opinion, you're giving me way too much importance to put me in the same race as the Enterprise. I always figured the Enterprise and I didn't even get to play on the same field."

Beverly lifted her glass in a toast. "So welcome to the club."

By then Nella's speech had started to slur. "Did he ever give you the sending someone he loves into danger speech?"

Beverly, no more sober than Nella, laughed. "Nope. It's one of the many touchy topics we avoid. Over the years we've become very adept at avoiding. More Scotch?"

Nella extended her glass and looked at the other women as she refilled it. Her anger deflated, she became sad.

"I do love him, Beverly."

Beverly's face became serious. She was silent for a few moments before speaking again. "I know you do. And he loves you, too. And I'm sorry things didn't work out between you. I truly am." She hesitated before continuing, unsure how to voice her feelings. "I… I care deeply for Jean-Luc. I want him to be happy."

"Can you tell me something, Beverly? You and him? Why have you not ever given it a try?"

Beverly's face closed up. She turned around and bought herself a few seconds by refilling both their glasses. "I… I don't know Nella. Perhaps because he was my husband's best friend, perhaps because I'm his best friend. " She let out a sad laugh and looked up at the other woman. "Perhaps because I've always been afraid that if we tried it, what is happening to you would happen to me." Her voice lowered to a whisper. "Perhaps because I'm afraid that once we did, he too would die."

Beverly lifted her head and spoke softly, hesitantly. "I… I guess I'm just scared, scared of losing what we have. I couldn't handle that."

Nella took a long breath in, got up and sat beside the other woman. She put her arm around her shoulder. It was ironic, really. Here she was, forced to transfer off the flagship of the federation because of a failed relationship with her captain, and yet she was comforting the woman who had played such a large role in that failure.

"Oh Beverly. You two are so messed up."

Nella refilled both their glasses with Scotch again.

* * *

><p>Wesley Crusher stood in the waiting area of the shuttle bay looking at the passengers disembarking from the Enterprise's shuttle. Three young officers came out first, and by their unsteady walk, Wesley deducted they were well into their shore leave already. He then heard drunken singing coming from inside the shuttle and few seconds later his mother, his very drunk mother holding on to another drunk officer, came out of the shuttle.<p>

Wesley Crusher could only manage one word: "Mom?!"

* * *

><p>Captain Jean-Luc Picard, captain of the fleet's flagship, answered the incoming call from Starbase 12's commanding officer.<p>

"Johnny, you old reprobate. How are you?"

Picard smiled. There had been a time when the nickname had bothered him. But there were so few people left from those years that he had come to enjoy the moniker. It didn't stop him for having his own dig at the other CO.

"I'm fine, Sharpy. Fine."

Captain Theodore "Sharpy" Mahotra erupted in laughter. "Sharpy. I haven't heard that name in years Johnny."

Jean-Luc smiled and nodded. "Yes. I'm afraid, old friend, that there are very few of us left from those years."

Picard sat up straighter and put on serious look. "While I could reminisce all night, Theo, I'm sure that's not why you called."

"A shuttle from your ship docked here this afternoon, Jean-Luc."

"Yes. Yes some officers going shore leave and a small crew rotation."

Theo Mahotra shifted in his seat. "Yeah. Johnny, about that. It seems your officers got a head start on their shore leave during the trip over here. They were quite drunk when they arrived."

Jean-Luc chuckled. "You know how young officers going on leave are like, Theo. Just put them in the brig overnight. Let them dry out."

"I'm afraid, Jean-Luc, that it wasn't your young officers who were the problem. It was two senior officers - members of your executive staff. "

Mahotra stopped for a second to emphasize his next statement. "It was two commanders. They were singing a song….. something about a bald bastard."

Mahotra looked innocently at Picard. "Know anything about that, Johnny?"

Jean-Luc knew at that moment that the next few minutes were going to be very, very embarrassing. He quickly turned to the terminal on his desk to view the crew manifest. The list looked so innocent: Commander Beverly Crusher, Lieutenant-Commander Nella Darren…..

"Hm… Sharpy I wonder if I could impose on you to…."

Mahotra finished the sentence for him. "….keep it as discrete as I can. Don't worry, it's already done. Young Crusher - looks like his father by the way - whisked his mother away as soon as he could, and my chief of security took responsibility for Commander Darren."

Mahota leaned in. "You know, Johnny, you're not at the Academy anymore. These are two flagship senior officers. You should know better."

Jean-Luc Picard squirmed in his seat. He deserved it, he knew, but it didn't make it any easier to deal with. "I know, Sharpy, but ….." What could he say? He only had himself to blame. He had mishandled the situation from beginning to end.

"Thank you, Sharpy. I owe you one."

The other officer smiled cunningly. "Yes, you do, Johnny." Mahotra then went on. "You know my daughter is getting married next month, and as I recall that family of yours produces a very fine vintage."

Jean-Luc signed and resigned himself. "How many cases do you need, Sharpy?"

Several minutes later Jean-Luc finally ended the communications. No matter how much he tried, he cold not help himself from wondering what Nella and Beverly talked about for twelve hours. Whatever it was, he was sure he didn't come out of it looking good.

He smiled and chuckled as he rubbed his hand over his bare head. "Bald bastard indeed!"


End file.
